I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
