whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
