Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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