There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
