And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
