My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
