I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
too bad you live with your parents still
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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