so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
