I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
