Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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