too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize