Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
