Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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