remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
