i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
