You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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