Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
