...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
