Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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