May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
