He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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