i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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