This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
