do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
