Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
