so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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