I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
