Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can't turn off my feet"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize