Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
