Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you traded sex for a burrito?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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