So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
