i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
