You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
