I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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