i wish peter jackson would direct porn
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
