So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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