You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize