oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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