Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
