This girl is more easily done than said...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
