Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
