I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
