im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
