pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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