he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
