ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
