Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize