Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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