Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
