need another drink. this is the easiest way
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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