there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
