So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Another day, another engagement, another cat
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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