i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
