Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
