whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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