Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
