I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
