i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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