Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My pussy is not your playground.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
