I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wish you could order shots online.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
